A New Morning...

I woke up before my alarm went off this morning....this never happens. It's usually the opposite actually. I hit snooze like 3 times before I finally decide to jump in the shower...but today was different.

I woke up, feeling peaceful. Feeling optimistic about my future.
Jumped in the shower, got a beautiful text from a friend Sarah that encouraged me first thing.
Then another text from someone very important in my life. Short, sweet, but a reminder of how blessed I am.
Then another text from Wendy (came later, but this has been a day of encouraging reminders for me.)
Anyways, after getting dressed, my iTouch was on shuffle and it played "You Are For Me" by Kari Jobe.
This song has huge significance in my life recently. I've sung it a handful of times at church
& the lyrics hit so close to home. Here are the lyrics:

"So faithful. So constant. So loving & so true. So powerful in all you do.
You fill me.You see me. You know my every move. You love for me to sing to You.
I know that You are for me. I know that You are for me.
I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness.
I know that You have come now even to write upon my heart, to remind me of who You are.
So patient. So gracious. So merciful & true. So wonderful in all You do."

Okay, so this song just reminded me that God has some incredible things in store for me.
And these things are flowing out so rapidly and in my face, but my life has been so
busy, on-the-go, hectic, out of whack that I have been missing it.
Don't get me wrong, I know I am highly favored and so blessed with the things I have
but have I actually taken the time to thank God for all of it?! Honestly....not at all. No.

I'll admit, after that hit me across the face, I started crying this morning. Listening to this song
helped me realize that I haven't truly thanked God for all the things that have occurred in my heart
now and in my past. I laid back on my bed, crying and just praying. Singing. Worshiping in my room.
Who would've thought that you could worship while laying on your bed, in your room, and not in a church or your car? It was some incredible worship time.

The last song that came on before I went to work was yet another Kari Jobe song called "My Beloved".
This confirmed that God was in control of my morning, of my day, of my life.
Here are the words to it:

"You're my beloved, You're my bride. To sing over you is my delight. Come away with Me, My love.
Under my mercy, come & wait 'til we are standing face to face. I see no stain on you, My child.
You're beautiful to Me. So beautiful to Me.
I sing over you, My song of peace. Cast all your cares at My feet.
Come & find your rest in Me.
I'll breathe My life inside of you. I'll bear you up on eagle's wings.
& hide you in the shadow of My strength.
I'll take you to My quiet waters. I'll restore your soul.
Come rest in Me and be made whole.
You're my beloved, my bride. To sing over you is My delight. Come away with Me, My love."

God sees me as beautiful. & significant.
And every step I'm provided is significant.
Every person in my life is significant.
Every decision I face is significant.
Every breath I breathe is significant.
My weaknesses are significant.
My strengths and high points are significant.
My relationship with friends...family....are significant.
My relationship with Him is significant.
The moments I feel alone are significant to Him.
The moments I feel completely out of it and off track are significant to Him.
"You see me, You know my every move. You love for me to sing to You."
The times I am singing quietly to myself in the car, worshipful words, are significant to Him.
My weak moments where I struggle with what I want, and not what He wants, are significant.
"I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness."
The mornings I wake up so completely wrapped up in what I have to do that day are significant.
Days I feel as if I'm so emotional, good and bad, because of my blessings are significant to Him.
"I know that You are for me."
He is for me. I'm his beloved. I am highly favored.  & I am blessed beyond measure.
Thank you God.

What's On My Mind?

SO much.
So much has happened in the past couple of months, it's unbelievable.
God is good & so faithful.
He told me to wait and to be patient, to keep my servant's heart humble, and to renew my mind daily.
To never give up hope in Him and what He will offer.
He promised to fulfill ALL the things that are the desires on my heart.
Let me tell you something, He did that PLUS some.

Thank you Lord for providing Your best. It's better than I ever imagined.


School, bleh. Almost over thankfully. Next semester is going to be rough.
Work is going well. Ridiculously busy, but it's winter time. I knew it was coming.
Family is getting better. Thanksgiving with everyone really provided a sense of hope
for my family and I.
Friends: Phew, amazing. I love my friends. They're the greatest (no really, they are.)
Worship: I need to work on this aspect in my life. My voice has been gone/I've been sick/I've been too busy. And I freakin miss the crap out of worship. I still worship in my car and with my guitar, in my room, at work. But, I miss being able to worship at church. I've been so busy. I'm definitely ready for this "Christmas break" to turn into a total God & Jamie time. SO ready for it.
Relationship: Please see above rant about God's best. It's been wonderful.

Thank You, Lord, for being my Master & Supporter. You're truly awesome.


<3

I don't like ketchup....

BUT I do like to "catch up"....haha sooo cheesy.

There's lots to update on.
Today I feel completely encouraged for multiple reasons.
I'm loved. by many people. and I'm blessed by the Creator, who happens to be
the One who is in charge of my life and is clearly showing me
His plans, little by little. I'm so stoked about what
He has been revealing to me. He's great. Just sayin'.

I met with my advisor today about scheduling my classes.
I'm excited to finish school. And move on to the next chapter of
my life which is being planned out according to what
God wants of me. I told someone today that I
have finally realized that for the first time in my life
I clearly see plans unfolding the way God desired them too.
It's the most encouraging thing to see what God promised
me being revealed to me.
I waited patiently and obeyed. And His blessings are
overflowing. And I'm enjoying every-single-one of 'em.

School is going well. Worship is going well. Christmas production is going well.
Love with God and others is going well and progressing. Friendships are going well.
Relationship with God is going well & growing. Friendship with my parents is going well.

Now I need to start finding things I want to start fitting into my schedule:
Cardio every day.
Eating healthier (for the sake of my health & my voice...legit)
Writing music for God's love and for the sake of His people.
Learning bass, keyboard, and banjo potentially. And some electric would be nice.
Finish reading "Crazy Love".
Graduate with my Master's degree.
Travel more. asap.



hm, life is great.

Until next time,
J. King

I should be....But I'm not.

This season of my life is beautiful, when it shouldn't be.
Here's what I mean:

I should be....
-beyond stressed with school.
-upset about family situations for my parents.
-completely distraught about my hectic lifestyle
-worried about how certain people view me and this situation.
-scared to do this.
-closed off and not-so-vulnerable.
-more concerned about school over anything else going on in my life.

But I'm not. Instead I am....
-prioritizing and keeping up with school as best as I possibly can.
-a stronghold for my parents towards their family.
-completely proud of myself for being able to handle my schedule.
-not concerned, at all, about what people think and focus on what God thinks.
-completely open to do this.
-open hearted, open minded, and completely vulnerable.
-concerned about making my God proud of me, in all situations in my life.

I'm feeling pretty great this week. I feel accomplished. Loved. Highly Favored. &
I am enjoying this season of my life. Thank you to everyone being a part of it.


Until Next time,
J. King

"Crazy Love"

"Crazy Love" by Francis Chan is my new obsession. This book is phenomenal. It really is.
& what good timing.

I've grown closer to certain friends in my life. & I've realized how
"in-tune" they are with God, especially after they share with me
the things that He shows them.

The first chapter of "Crazy Love" digs into how deep, far, wide, large the love of God is.
And how he chose us. He chooses to love us. etc.

& it tells the reader to go to the website of the book to look
at some photographs of the hundreds of galaxies that didnt need to be
created, for any specific purpose, but that they were because God chose to.
His artwork is marvelous and I can't even begin to describe how big my God is because
not one person can comprehend that.

He's just great. My friends recently have called me and asked me to pray with them
over certain situations, and the book I'm reading has prepared me for this.
Sounds insane, but it's true. Ever since I've started reading this book,
I feel that God is using what Francis Chan wrote, to prepare my own
heart to help others and of course to help myself.

God is good. I love it when He does that.

Also, a verse that's on my mirror that I thought about today is this one:

1 Samuel 12:22

"For the sake of his great name the LORD will not reject his people,

because the LORD was pleased to make you his own."

This book has also challenged me to remember that God knew me before I was born. He knew everything about me. Of course, yes, He gives us free will and choices that may curve our "path" but He knew me before I was created. He was pleased to make me.

This makes me go back to one of my other blogs that say that God desires me to succeed, and not to fail.

He was pleased to make me a success so that I can carry out His light in the

times of darkness. That is crazy love.

Be Courageous

This sermon series has hit close to home.
My church's sermon series is based around the movie "Courageous" that is out in theatres right now.
I saw the movie with one of my close friends, Sarah. I just love that girl.
We both saw it and it really was an incredible movie.
The message was strong, mostly to the men/dads/husbands type of crowd...
but it's that in order to truly experience obedience with God, it takes courage.
Not just the type of courage to "stand up to someone" but
to stand up for what God teaches us, what the Bible teaches us.
Whether that means, asking forgiveness from someone you need to or
finding it in your heart to forgive who you think is unforgivable.
The type of courage that pushes you to accept what God provides and that
He will never give you too much that you can't handle. And that "you won't stay in this same place forever" (Pastor Chris Hoyt).

Be courageous.
That's something I've been challenged to do and I'm beginning to open up about.
There are quite a few situations that have been brought to my attention, good and bad,
that I need to take courage when dealing with it.
But, I know that God gives me courage daily by encouraging me.


Just some thoughts,
J. King

Highly Favored

"I know that You are for Me" is still ringing in my head today.
It's been playing on my Pandora radio station all morning.

I woke up extra early today, well about two hours earlier than usual, to help
my worship pastor and some friends lead worship
at Hampton Christian School, which consists of middle and high school students.
It was a fun time to see these kids just worship. Some reserved, but
I still saw it in their eyes...I saw the desire to worship.

I needed to see that. It's always refreshing to be reminded that
worship is worship. Yes, there are different styles and ways to worship,
but worship in itself is praising God for the gifts and for His strength in the storm....
for the guidance we needed in one situation, for the love we needed during
the loneliness, etc.

"He loves Us" was a song we did at the end.
& it was beautiful to hear the kids singing this.
We opened up for prayer, & the kids just
quickly paced to the people praying. It was courageous.
& it was a reminder that I need to open my heart more
and become more courageous. I can do ALL things with Christ. He provides my Strength. (Phil 4:13)

Until Next time....

October 11, 2011

It's a new season.
Autumn is finally setting in & it's a new season in my life, too.
Things are changing, for the better.
I've surrendered things to God that I've been holding onto, without realizing that I was hanging onto them.

"For I know the plans I have for you' says the Lord, 'plans that are good and not for disaster, and that give you a future and a hope." -Jeremiah 29:11

We all know this verse. I've read over it too many times and have yet to take the time to really disect it.
Then I woke up with that on my heart this morning.

"Your goodness is forever. Your mercy is forever." is ringing out right now on my Pandora. It's a Kari Jobe song.

God has already told me this week that HE has in store for me, what HE knows is "my best" for me.
& because He knows the plans for me, He has already set me up to win & to be successful. He will never intentionally set me up for disaster but instead, will pull me out of it (all thanks to my free will decisions) and will set me up on the highest rock to give me a future and a hope.

Hope. Sometimes, that's all us humans need. Hope that there is something more. Hope that it can get better. Hope that we are taken care of. & God is granting us that everyday. He's legit.

So, let's take a journey now into my day yesterday.....
A specific verse was brought to my attention 5 different times yesterday:

"Delight yourself in the Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart."

-Psalm 37:4



The first time it was sent to me was by a friend, Tara. I told her "Oh man, I needed to read this, thank you so much."

So I began forwarding it to a friend, Wendy, when she, at the exact same time, sent it to me. God is good.

Then, I went onto a website full of encouraging verses, and I bet you can't guess what the verse of the day was.

Driving home, I put my iTouch on shuffle and a song came on singing the words of the verse.

Lastly, my best friend sent me something on facebook February of 2010 (right around Valentines Day) when I was struggling in my relationship, and it was about "allowing God to set you up with your companion for marriage, etc" & I printed & posted this on a billboard in my room. Well, cleaning my car out, I noticed some youth girls wrote me notes, so I took them inside & posted them on my billboard, then that note Amanda wrote to me caught my attention. It's like 6 paragraphs long, but the only paragraph that caught my attention stated that verse on it.

whoa God, I got the reminder(s).  I love it when He does that.

God knows our best. He wants us to enjoy His best. & we will, only if we delight ourselves in the presence of God & allow Him to do his thing.

Until next time,
J. King

God has promised me...

God's laid on my heart today that He promises to never fail me
and to never give me anything that isn't what He knows is best for me.

I trust You, Lord. <3

"You Are For Me"

Wow. I love it when I realize how much God watches over me & how He literally waits for me to listen to Him. He Waits For Me To Respond. I was thinking of this driving to work, listening to my Christmas production practice music. The song said "....child, You are loved." & I know this, but it's so refreshing to be reminded.

Then, my worship pastor sends me a song we may do this weekend for service.
The name of it is "You Are For Me"  & what a perfect song that I needed to hear as a reminder.

"So faithful. So constant.
So loving & So true. So powerful in all You do.
You fill me, You see me.
You know my every move. You love for me to sing to You.

I know that You are for me. I know that You are for me.
I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness.
I know that You have come now even if to write upon my heart
To remind me of who You are.

So patient. So gracious.
So merciful and true. So wonderful in all You do.
You fill me. You see me.
You know my every move. You love for me to sing to You."
-Kari Jobe; "You Are For Me"

Wow, Lord. Just the song I wanted to sing to you that I could not put into words.
You remind me constantly of who You are, God, and sometimes I, unintentionally, ignore that reminder.

I'm reminded today that:
-You've got me. All of me.
-Your hands are working, constantly.
-Your love is everlasting and never ceasing to transform my love for others.
-Everything that I may or may not have planned is in Your hands.
-I can only experience true love through you, first.
-That your affections are far more amazing than any person can provide.
-You love me.



Thanks Daddy for those reminders.
Until Next Time,
J. King

Is it just me?

Recently, I've been told that I am such a weird/different woman because I don't
sit back and plan out my future in the light of my children, my husband, my wedding,
marriage, my engagement ring, who will be in my wedding, how I want to design my house, the trips I want to take for my honeymoon, etc.

Excuse me for being a bit different, but when God has set things up for me, then I will follow those and then plan accordingly.

No, I'm not saying if you do plan things out that I think it's stupid. It's cute. Yes.
Until I'm drowning in Your love tonight
I'm only drowning in Your love

But... there's more to life than setting up your heart for possibly letdowns.
God won't let me down. That's the one thing I am 100% positive about in my life.
The other things that may happen, like my marriage to my future husband, is questionable because
it's not in my hands.

Just had to vent a bit.
But, ultimately, I'd like to say that I'm not "different" in a bad way. In fact, I take pride in my differences.

1 Corinthians 2:9

However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"

"Search My Heart & Soul"

The title of my blog is "Search My Heart & Soul" & ultimately, I want God to truly know me. Inside & out. Yes, I know He already does, but I want to show Him, too.

Where is my heart & soul these days?
To be honest, I'm not one to post anything full of complaints or negativity.
But my heart is in a major funk this past month.
No, it hasn't consumed my entire being, but it's near to it.

I've realized where my heart is lately,
and it's in a state of constant change.
I can't even begin to explain how that feels
but it's not a good or bad feeling. It's just....there.

I still enjoy the same things, like worship, sports, watching sports, having girls nights.
But, my heart is only 3/4 in it these days. Is this funk normal?

Many things have been unsettled on my heart this past month
but it's nothing to sincerely worry about. So why do I still let
them consume my heart? Get. Out.

I know the Lord loves me and is proud of me,
but sometimes I don't feel like I'm doing well enough.
I was reminded, though, today, by a friend, that I don't need to earn God's love.
I've heard that millions of times, and I believe it, but I needed that reminder.
I.DONT.NEED.TO.EARN.GOD'S. Love.

Point blank.
Dear heart, get out of this funk so I can get back to the busy-ness of my life.

I Adore You

Mercy falls from Your heart down on me
Glory streams from Your face so lovely
A million words could not describe
How marvelous Your perfect light

I adore You
I will sing it with all my heart
I adore You
I love everything You are
That my heart, beats to the rhythm of Your heart
That my eyes focus on Your beautiful eyes
A million tongues could not express
How beautiful Your holiness

My life is yours and will be forever
My love is yours

-Phil Wickham; "I Adore You"

My future husband better be prepared...

My future husband better be prepared when he meets me.
He's going to have to handle my spontaneous ideas, my intense silliness,
my obnoxious laughter at times, & my affection.

Brace yourself, because I'm a handful. :)




-J.King

You know what....

I'm content. With everything. Truly.

I've discovered....

Recently, I've discovered...

-that I'm a dreamer. Big Time.
-that I'd rather be optimistic about things, rather than let the negative pull me down.
-that I really do hate coleslaw more and more as I'm growing older hahaha.
-that the friends I have in my life are here by my side until the end.
-that I'm an adult & I make my own decisions, big or small, and it's a little crazy to think about.
-that I'm right where I need to be & it took me the past year to figure this out.
-that no person can determine my happiness, only I can.
-that I can instantly become friends with people and have all the respect in the world for them..
-that Mentors are great role models, but I can't put them as "perfect people". We're all human.
-that taking time off is not always an option, but taking five minutes a day to just breathe & get myself together really helps.
-that I use post-its and "to do" lists often.
-that I own three different planners. hahaha Ridiculous.
-that I can be serious when I need to be, but I'd rather not be.
-that my laughter changes weekly, and it can get obnoxious. I laugh at everything.
-that my parents, both of them, are so in love, so supportive of everything I choose to do that will benefit me, and pushes me to accomplish my dreams.
-that I want my marriage to be like my parents.
-that school is a huge privilege, not just something I have to do.
-that I need to make more time, which I "think" I don't have, to really hang out with the people I love.
-that I desire to run, workout, and every morning I plan to, & I never make time too.
-that I want to start budgeting my money.
-that whatever my Mom does to respond to something, I do the same.
-that I'm super protective and almost too aggressive about standing up for my parents.
-that my parents are the only ones in my entire family that I enjoy being around, and I'm okay with that.
-that God is bigger.
-that I can do anything I desire if I keep pushing through.
-that my "Bucket List" isn't shrinking, and it needs to asap.
-that I'm legit proud of myself for being 22 and doing the things that average 22 year olds don't do.
-that I was designed to dream, designed to worship, and designed to love. & I'll continue doing all three.
-that I get so hyped about encouraging people....
-that I am loved. Still. More & more.
-that I desire to blog more.


Hmm, just rambling, but that's enough for now.
Enjoy your day, and dream on (cheesy, but I mean it.)

Until next time,
J.King

Vulnerable

This will very much be my most vulnerable post ever.
I'm confused. I'm feeling a bit of emptiness for the first time in a very long time.
I'm a brave, strong person. I am.
But this situation, I have no control over.
I dont know what to do. How to react. How to even pray about it.
Sounds crazy, but I feel empty and for the first time, useless.
I want to wipe the situation she may face, out of her life.
I'm human. I'm thinking of what may happen if this comes out to be what "they" think.
I'm feeling a sense of death and loss in my heart already. What is wrong with me?
I'm hypocritical. Here I am, telling everyone, "God's got you. He's got me."....& I'm sitting
here just full of sadness, questioning everything.


I'm praying.

It's beautiful out....

& I survived the hurricane.
However, there are 9+ fatalities from it. Including two children.
Very heartbreaking, but we have been blessed through all of this.
Thanks for all the prayers guys.


J. King

"Hello Hurricane"-Switchfoot

Welp, here is my pre-hurricane Irene blog.
It's filled with mixed emotions. I'm anxious, nervous, uneasy, fearful, trusting in various people & God. All the while, I am looking at the clock. Time is going by so slowly. It's the calm before the vicious storm.

Praise God it went from a Category 2 to a Category 1.
Hurricane Isabel, years ago, was a tropical storm when it hit the East Coast of Virginia. It demolished Poquoson (a city next to me, where my best friend Amanda lives) with its high rising waters, ridiculous winds, and the thunderstorms prior to it didn't assist in the trees falling. It was weeks and weeks of just devastation.

Every ounce in my heart knows that my God is way bigger than this storm & that God is love, peace, & comfort. I am constantly having to fix my mindset to remind myself that "the Creator is holding my hand during all of this" (Thanks Zack). He's got me. (Thanks Jake). & that He ultimately will lend a hand of protection.
I also know that there is a BIG difference between worrying & being well prepared.

Worrying is not believing God is able to fix what is going on (Thanks Alyssa) but being well prepared is using the common sense and brain that God so carefully created for us. My family & I are being well-prepared. Yes, we are human, and we are slightly freaked out, but there is nothing more we can do. After all, we tied everything down, stuffed the garage with everything we could, drove our cars to a non-flood zone, & prayed over everything.

Ultimately, God will get us through this. Hurricane Irene, the real question is, can you handle my God?


On another random note,
Lacey blessed me first thing this morning with an email that just was so heart-felt and honest.
A few things she said was that I remind her of a soldier, in the midst of a battle, never giving up but instead pressing on. Her words were much needed. She said I'm a brave woman of God and it's going to take one heck-of-a-man of God to handle what I have to offer. I love her. She lifted me up right when I needed it.


Friends,
I'll receive any and all prayers you will bless VA and NC with during this time of "mother nature's best".
Thank you for all your love and support, and I'll post a blog when it's all over  (and our power cuts back on haha). I love you all. & don't forget to recognize your blessings.

Unless Irene swallows us.....until next time,

J. King (Psalm 91: 14 - 16)

Yesterday....

At 1:51pm, I survived a 20 second 5.9 magnitude earthquake. Legit.
Sketch, yes, but legit.

Now this weekend,
I'll survive a Category 2 or 3 Hurricane.



Until next time (hopefully),
J.King

....to my future husband:

....to my future husband, will you play/sing this song to me & mean what the lyrics are saying? I'm afraid to share with you everything I've done in my past, so I'll need your support and this song is just perfect for it.

Sincerely,
your future wife.

"I Want to Hold the Hand that Holds the World."

Ohio was a great trip. The Kratz wedding was beautiful & I met some incredible people. The Ohio people knew me before I even met them, which was awesome. That made my day to hear "Oh You're Jamie King?! We've heard all about you, so nice to finally meet you." I was able to reconnect with Blevins and meet his beautiful wife, meet my new "best friend" JD, see Andrew, Mary, Alyssa, Ang, etc. It was a beautiful reunion. The wedding was a blast, and I was honored to be a bridesmaid & sing for them during the reading of their vows. The reception was so fun. The dancing, music messing up, meeting of new people, and joking on everyone was just what I needed to end my trip. Thank you to all the Ohio Christian kids, you guys really made my "visit" a memorable one.

Moving on...
I've decided not to claim "stress" or the "feeling of being overwhelmed" on myself, knowing my schedule. If I claim it, then I'll allow it to happen, right?

Phew, classes are going to be intense this semester. I have 2.5 years left until I have my Master's in Elementary Education & I begin my journey to teach little ones.

Right now, I've been taking on many different projects, and I'm only 22. I'm proud of myself though.
I am rarely able to sit down and breathe, but it's the best thing. Honestly, I'm blessed to have the ability to work as much, study as much, lead worship, help with musical projects, and even start one of my own. I'm able to play flag football with some awesome people, stay deeply involved with the youth, young adults, and church in general. I am blessed to have these opportunities.

This leaves verrryyyy little room for thinking about relationships. Yep, I went there. It's a blessing and a hinderance, all in one. I know God's got me & the whole "dating" thing will be taken care of when He's ready for me to face that, so I take my schedule as a blessing. But as of right now, until I get confirmation from God that He knows I'm ready to face that next chapter in my life, I am keeping busy with a servant's heart to serve Him as much as I possibly can. Thank you Lord, for patience.

Speaking of God....
He's incredible. I say that alot, yes, but He really is.
Worship has been opening doors for me, spiritually.
& right when I feel as if something is going to hurt me, God turns it around and blesses me with an immeasurable amount of things. He's so good.

Thank you Lord, for endurance, patience, and for just loving on me always.



Until next time,
J. King

Braids, Broken hearts, and Beauty; You-Taw [Utah]

An excerpt from my personal journal about my Mission's trip to Utah, or You-Taw, as I'm told that is how I pronounce it with my new country accent. Warning: this is a long post, but well worth the read. I couldn't begin to write down ALL the things I experienced there, or else my hand would've fallen off. So here we go:


"Woke up in Utah this morning & literally felt the most refreshed ever. I woke up with a feeling that God has some significant plans for me (& the team) today and He definitely followed through. After two flights, a 4 hour drive, and much needed sleep in the cabin, we drove to the tent where the reservation and church is on Wednesday morning. The moment we got to the tent, we met the Georgia "Miller" family that's in charge of VBS & the most memorable thing about that family is their southern accent--talk about country! I immediately connected with a couple of them because of their outgoing spirits. 


The kids would be dropped off over a coarse of an hour, so Paula, Issy, & I would teach them some dance moves to "Lord You Are Good" (Israel Houghton style baby!). Oh where to begin with Ms. Paula. She has spunk for an older woman & she can get down with the get-down. So all the kids arrived, we divided them into two groups, by age. Immediately, two girls, Alisia and Katelynn attached to me and more kids did as the day went on. We went into our Bible study and the kids surprised me. I was previously warned that these kids would be reserved and closed off but these kids immediately remembered my name and loved on me while allowing me to love on them. What a warm feeling that was.


There were kids all ages there so we divided them into groups. One group would be in the Bible study while the other is doing crafts. Lunch time was an experience too. Each child was given two sandwiches, chips, fruit snacks, and a drink. I quickly observed that the majority of the kids would eat one sandwich and a few of the chips, then fold up the bag to take the other sandwich and food home. I, later, found out that these kids have nothing, barely any food. This very well may be the only meal that they eat. 


So we get to say our goodbyes and I was asked to drive some kids home. Imagine me, in a mini van. Talk about future soccer mom! Anyways, seeing these "homes" just completely blew my mind. Of course, it was about a 30 minute drive down a dirt road full of bumps but all around us was sand, rocks, stray dogs, prairie dogs, cows, and beautiful wild horses. I heard one kid mumble, "I don't want to go home." I later found out he lives with a stepfather indulging in incest with the family. Broke my heart.


The next few days of VBS were good. Our teams clicked well together. More kids came (a total of 55 by Friday, I believe) and they grew to be more & more open to me as well as open to learning about God. One boy, named Delaney, had been picked on by the other boys which immediately turned his behavior from controllable to aggressive with the other kids. Well, Friday, the last day of Bible study at VBS, Delaney sat next to me, did the motions to the songs (sitting down) & answered (mumbled) the questions correctly. I was astonished, to be honest. I asked him how he knew about these stories about Jesus and he said "My grandpa reads the Holy Bible to us and tells us stories about the cross. We have a Jesus movie too." WOW. Thank you God for helping me realize that investing our time in these kids is worth it, because even when they seem to not be  listening, they are.


Something else I realized quickly is that the Navajos are a giving group of people. I can't begin to list the amount of bracelets, pictures, keychains, and necklaces I brought home. These people, who met me once or twice, put their time, money, and effort into something so precious just for me. God is good.


Friday morning, before we took the kids home, we offered them the gift of salvation. An awesome praise report for me would be at least one kid opening his/her heart to God and ask Him into his//her heart. but no, twelve kids gave their hearts to the "Almighty God"! And a teenager that next night. What a humbling experience to be a part of that process, in someway.


God loves me just like He loves little Delaney, Codi, Sandralyn, Savannah (a little miracle born from alcoholic parents), Cobe, Kayla, Katelynn/Alisia, major disciples of the world, and everyone else in the world. We are all heirs of His kingdom.


I got the chance to really bond with Katelynn and Alisia, granddaughters of Lilly Maryboy. Lilly blessed me too, by braiding my hair one night and I felt God lay on my heart to bless her with my favorite turquoise cross bracelet made my someone in my church. The entire week I selflessly gave away all of my bracelets and jewelry to the kids, but avoided giving this away, and now I knew why. So I gave it to her, and saw her face light up with joy. Katelynn & Alisia had a lot of fun with Brooke & I. All week, we would color, draw, listen to music together, be goofy, take pictures and videos, etc. They were a handful at first, but once we gained each other's respect, they were so loving towards me. They want me to send them a necklace with Jesus on it. I can't wait to receive a letter from them and reply. Alisia has already called me a few times & that warms my heart.


I'm so glad I went to Utah. It impacted me way more than I expected, that's for sure. It was an emotional journey for me and it humbled & broke my heart all at once. It made me appreciate all the things I take for granted that I'm truly blessed with. I will no longer let the small inconveniences hurt me anymore or even slightly affect me. I will forever hold the people in Utah in my heart forever.


Random things God laid on my heart:
*God sees every person, event, thing significant in His eyes, even if we don't.
*God's broken my heart with this trip but all I felt Him lay on my heart was to love on those who cross my path.
*God gives each of us gifts and I immediately saw mine with the kids and loving on them.


Memorable moments:
*Brooke and I were driving to pick up the kids on the "long road" which is 20 minutes long, and we got stuck in a huge pile of sand. hahaha, we had to get her dad to get it out. Hilarious.
*The outhouse? Failure.
*Loved roadtripping with my new second family, the Waldroups.

Psalm 40:8 "I desire to do Your will, Oh My God, Your law is within my heart."

Until next time,

J.King

Utah? Ohio?

Wow, where did time go?
In just 6 days, I'm leaving to my mission's trip to Bluff, Utah.
What's in Utah?! Well, other than beautiful landscaping, an entire Navajo nation is in Utah. My responsibility, on this trip, is to lead worship for VBS for kids, teens, and adults, as well as throw a Friday night Youth Revival with music, skits, and preach.

Wait, I'm preaching. For the first time. Ever.

I'm just as surprised, but I'm confident that my Yahweh will speak through me, it's just a matter of how, what of, and am I able to hear Him clearly? Yes, I'm nervous, but God is sovereign, and so good.

Okay, straight from Utah, is OHIO!
I get to see my friends I call family, as well as be a part of a beautiful wedding for two of my friends, Kelly and Billy. Being a bridesmaid for the first time ever is a journey, but I'm SO stoked about it. It's going to be a great time. I'm prayerfully seeking God to be there during that week, as my heart is challenged, especially for when I get back home and I'm faced with a few decisions. God is good though. So good.


So where to, after Ohio? I guess we will see.

Until then,
-J. King

....to my future husband.

To my future husband,

I've been trusting in God and faithfully spending time with Him and today I realized that you are totally worth the wait.

Love, your future wife.

[The Lifestyle of] Worship.

"If leading worship is just about bringing a group of people into a room so we can get goosebumps & sing songs together,there's not much value in that. But if leading worship is a means to an end, that we leave this place as a different kind of people, as part of a new humanity that God wants to create,the people that are caring for the widows & orphans, that aren't bound by the systems of this world but becoming free, becoming fully engaged in our world, then that matters."

 -Michael Gungor

Unfailing, Undeserving, Understanding.

But I trust in your unfailing love;
   my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the LORD’s praise,
   for he has been good to me.
                         -Psalm 13:5&6

This was my "Psalm of the Day" that I've recently started, obviously since it's only Chapter 13. And as I was reading verse 5, which I've read plenty of times before, that word 'unfailing' caught my attention...

So many times when I pray I thank God that He is so understanding and that He gives 'unfailing love to the undeserving'. But am I really understanding exactly what that word 'unfailing' really means?!

Unfailing: adjective; meaning: 1. Without error or fault & 2. Reliable or constant

Other definitions say:
*foolproof
*always able to supply more
*inexhaustible, changeless, unceasing.

Then I began thinking about how large this unfailing love is. Well the love from God is so vast, so deep, and so wide.

"For the Lord's unfailing love is as high as the heavens." -Psalm 57:10 NLT

BAM. There's my answer for that one.  Well, how do I get this unfailing love? How did I even deserve it?

"but the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him." -Psalm 32:10

BAM. There's my answer for this one as well. If I trust in God, even just the tiniest bit of trust, then this legit outpouring of unfailing love envelopes me as a Child of God. Whoa, talk about incredible.

Let's dig a little deeper....
Sometimes, we consciously hear things one time and it passes through us like we never really listened. What I mean is, the first time you hear someone ask you a question, and you answer it without thinking about it, then go on with your conversation. Well, if that person was to ask you over and over again, then you will put more thought into your answer, or even think about "why" that person is asking you this question to begin with? It opens your curiousity...

Well, that's what this word has done for me. I've read this phrase "unfailing love" on at least 10 different occasions in the Bible, or heard it in prayers, or even said it to someone, describing God to them.

But today, I'm trying to wrap my mind around "God's Unfailing Love for Me".
He loves me without ceasing, without failing, without giving up, with definite, infinite, legitimate love. AND the good news?! He loves you too. And he continues to love you and I with unfailing love. We can no longer hear about His unfailing love and let it slip our mind.

The word fail is so negative. You think of disappointment, shame, or even regret, almost.
If you are failing, you are continuously disappointing and not able to supply anything more than that.
The word unfailing is so optimistic/positive. You think of success, contentment, inspiration, hope, joy.
If you are unfailing, you are continuously succeeding and able to supply more than enough.

God is unfailing. God is love. So therefore, His love is unfailing.

We are undeserving of His son's death on the cross.
We are undeserving of His grasp on our lives and guidance.
We are the undeserving to His unfailing love.

BUT He gives it to us anyways.

What a blessing. I had to share that with you guys.
You are loved. You are loved. You.Are.Loved. [forever.]

-J. King

Want more information about this unfailing love?

"In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed. In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling."

 -Psalm 6:4

Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love.

Psalm 32:10

...the earth is full of his unfailing love.

-Psalm 33:18b

How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings.

-Psalm 44:26

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.

-Psalm 52:8

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

-Psalm 107:8

May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant.

-Psalm 130:7

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet My unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you."

 -Isaiah 54:10

Camp Wakefield; The Week of Transformation

"Holy are You God, Holy is Your name
With everything I've got, my heart will sing how I love You."

That's the sound that resonates in my mind this week.
The sound of the campers, counselors, leaders, worship team just pronouncing
a battlecry of those words to God.
The sound of people, one by one, nailing a piece of paper to the wooden cross.
The sound of no instruments, just their voices, singing of "how He loves us".
The sound of surrender.
The sound of peace.

I'll tell you what. I'm struggling putting into words the impact Camp Wakefield 2011 had on me, personally.

A few times during the week, I felt down, stressed, or even just frustrated at everything. Alyssa told me one day, "Jamie, don't you know that those thoughts are from the enemy because he knows something amazing is about to happen by your almighty God tonight and this week?"....she was so right.

God moved, and although He is always there, the kids allowed Him to make moves in their lives. It was incredible. The cross was there symbolically for everyone to nail a sheet of paper with something they want to 'give to God' written on it, to the cross. At any point of day. Well, that thing was full by Day 3.

I, myself, even wrote a few things on that cross:
1. My brother.
2. That feeling of not being worthy enough to worship, or lead worship.
3.  Unforgiveness of myself.
4. "I surrender ALL" which is what I challenged my girls to do.

During the "Cardboard testimony" night, I was quickly challenged wth honesty.
Do I write on the cardboard everything I went through before Christ encountered me, or just a few things?
Well, I wrote the majority of it down. And oh how God lined up the girls right in front of me. Prayer was strong and so powerful that night. I felt God speaking through me like I have never felt.

As the week went on, 4 teenagers received God into their life. Praiiiise God. I am so stoked for them. SO stoked. Then some of the girls requested to hear my testimony....full throttle testimony....

I gave it. All of it. Before and after. Every detail.
I've never done that before. It's not because of shame, but just nervousness that it will bring back the feelings I had, like unforgiving feelings. But no, God had other plans.
Those girls opened up so quickly after that. Then I felt clarity that I was exactly where I needed to be at that exact moment.

Friendships at camp....where to begin with that. I've inherited some great family members in my life. All the campers plus counselors have a very large part in my heart. They always will.

God is good. Seriously. And even as I am home now, I feel the joy of God just filling me. No more stress, no more thoughts of unforgiveness, but rather, I am new again.

Lord, search my heart and soul, because You rest there. Thank you for an incredible week.



<3 J. King

Divine Romance.

The fullness of Your grace is here with me
The richness of Your beauty’s all I see
The brightness of Your glory has arrived
In Your presence God, I’m completely satisfied

For You I sing I dance
Rejoice in this divine romance
Lift my heart and my hands
To show my love, to show my love

A deep deep flood, an Ocean flows from You
Of deep deep love, yeah it’s filling up the room
Your innocent blood, has washed my guilty life
In Your presence God, I’m completely satisfied


-Phil Wickham; "Divine Romance"

You Make Beautiful Things....

God is my Master.
And I trust in Him.
I worship Him. All of Him. His creation in nature, animals, and especially His people.
I care for His people and never want to lose this compassion for others.

God. How can you be so incredible? So immaculate?
I'm really trusting in You with this. I have been since January. My heart, is Yours.
I am your bride. I always will be. My veil will hide my face from anyone and everyone
until You know I am ready in the purest form. I trust in You to provide, and You always do.
So why would I even question You in this case? I won't. I am no longer discouraged.
I am encouraged. I'm taking a leap of faith, and this leap continues to make me happy.
Is this Your planning? My selfless heart is Yours. No longer mine. Do what you will.

You make all things work together for my good.

Family.

Today, I miss my family being altogether. The last time we were all in the same room, just us four, was forever ago. I know, I'm an adult, and I understand things change, but today, I miss my family being a family. I see my parents every day, but my brother, I don't. He lives so far away, and we don't talk anymore. The last time we all smiled like we used to, was here in this photos, in Myrtle Beach, SC on vacation before my brother left for Iraq.

When I look at these photos, I see happiness, closeness, comfort, love, and strength as a core family.

I am so blessed though, to have the parents I do and the family-ties that I do. I feel nothing but love and support from them.



The Shadow Proves The Sunshine....

We are all going to have down days, that's inevitable.
What's great about this, is that a new day is approaching, and is filled with radiant sunlight.
It's thundering WHILE the sun is shining so bright. I can't help but sit here amazed at how even when its thundering....or supposed to seem "dark" ....the "Sun/Son" is still shining....

This is not to say I'm having a "down" day whatsoever, but I have my moments where I reflect on sad moments. Today, I explored through a memorial website about my friend I grew up knowing, Joshua James Stewart. His sister created a memorial webpage for him. My heart is still broken for the family after Josh passed. Many may think that he was "defeated" by his sickness, but let me tell you....He came out on top & victorious because he knew God.

As I'm exploring his website, I'm reminded how much of an impact he had on me when I was little. Of course, like most girls at that age, I had the biggest crush on this long blonde haired, tan, surfer/skater boy. He had a million dollar smile, enjoyed the spontaneity in life, and truly lived it up. This boy struggled through many things, but he kept fighting. He loved God even through those struggles. In my heart, he won the battle. He's in Paradise right now.

When he passed away, my heart not only broke for the friends, but for his sister Jessie (who I could only pray to be like), his parents, and his other family members I grew up with, and loved so dearly. I found myself crying hysterically every night, lacking sleep, losing focus because my heart was discerned and focused on this tragedy.

Just wanted to share the website: Josh Stewart's Memorial

I just wanted to emphasize the fact that, I still feel broken for that family yes, but I know prayerfully that God is taking care of them. He felt that broken-heartedness when he bore all of our emotions on the cross.
To the family: I love you guys dearly, and continue to pray for your hearts to be at peace and comforted.

I'm taken care of....

Isaiah 53:5

"He was pierced for our transgressions, crushed for our sins, the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds WE ARE HEALED."

Resurrection Sunday

My church's youth group did this skit on Resurrection Sunday...it was beyond beautiful. I cried so much. It's amazing to look at the life of Christ through this perspective. Enjoy.

Procrastination at best....

Camp Wakefield 2011 is coming up SOOOOO fast.
It's in June. & Kolbi and Mia gave me the privilege, like the past 2 years, to head up the worship, lead worship, etc. and plan the recreational activities for the week. It's a Christian camp, usually a pretty huge group of kids get to come out, and we are expecting a lot this year. So, of course, its the planning season. Since school, work, church, and softball leagues (3 this year) is so time consuming, I'm slightly stressed out about planning everything.

But, I know it's all for God and that He will take care of it..just like last year. Phew, what an incredible week that was.

The music planning is coming along. I just have to do all the tedious things now: i.e. making slides, projection screen, sheet music copies, get enough picks, extra strings/capos, extra drumsticks, etc.

The recreation, however, is a little more in depth. I need to get this together soon so I can get all the materials needed.

I actually had a slight "nightmare" last night about camp. Same one as last year, right around this time. God will provide. God will provide. God will provide.


This is....procrastination at best.

Unfathomable Love.

Today has literally just been such an incredible "God" day. The message at church today was just perfect. It spoke about denying ourselves & denying our flesh so that our voice can speak the love of God. Pastor Chris said a few awesome quotes I wanted to share:

"If you harden your hearts to man, then you are hardening your hearts to God."

 &

"We will make the most profound difference in the world, if we are profoundly different from the world."

Both of these quotes are so true.

So, later on during the day, after lunch with Lace, I begin doing homework. Usually, when I do homework, I procrastinate, and kind of ponder on things. I'm not much of an over-thinker, but I do like to just realize what is going on, as far as future events, scheduling and such. I began thinking about my role as a Christ-follower and if I am successfully fulfilling that role. Then I felt God say, "I desire for you to succeed, but to never grow too full of me. I always want you to desire Me & desire My love". I was a little confused at first like....God...I WANT to be full of You. But then I realized, He desires us to seek Him more and more each day. We can never be too full of God... how awesome.

Moving on....

We did a service tonight, of prayer & worship, to prepare ourselves for the new launching of the Sunday night service after Easter. I'll tell you what, the worship & prayer time was so beautiful. I literally could not stop smiling, or tearing up, or bluntly crying when I sang "Til I See You". I just honestly felt like I had made my Daddy proud and that He was smiling at His children praying faithfully, worshiping freely, and standing in agreement for His Kingdom. 

Then after I got home, did an online test, I began talking with a friend of mine. He is studying to become involved with the Christian Pastoral Ministries. I had remembered, randomly, a while back that he was up late a long time ago because God stirred a few things in his heart. And until this day, months later, I completely forgot to ask him exactly what that was. I randomly asked him today about what God had revealed to him. Now, stick with me... Here is the summary of it all:

Abraham, a servant of God, was asked to pretty much go and cut up some animals (my friend's choice words haha) and of course to us, this may be weird. But it was not weird during that time. "This was typical for a treaty to be made (this is actually what God is doing here)

He's making a deal with God!"

And usually when a "treaty" is being made, both parties walk through the halves that were cut. The parties would then say "Let what has been done to these animals be done to me if I ever break the Covenant".But when Abraham does this, only God walked through the halves. What could this possibly represent?!

"God is an incredible act of love, by just passing through the halves, He is saying to Abraham. 'I'd rather be torn apart like the animals have been than to fail you!'" as my friend put it.

Wow. how beautiful is that? God is pretty much showing Abraham the reassurance he needed to see that God loves Him enough that He would rather die for him than to see him fail....then my friend went even deeper with this...which blew me away.

"And whats more? God DID go to the point of death in order to NOT see us fail. "

How amazing is the feeling that we, as children of God, can have knowing our Daddy died for us, in order to see us succeed. He desires for us to fully succeed. I can't fathom this. His love never fails, so that we can successfully love others. His blessings are abundant so that we can successfully bless others with His grace. He died for us so we can succeed. All of this is just....phew...blowing me away.

Thank you, Lord, for just always keeping your promises and wanting us to always succeed with You as our Mentor.

-Jamie

Always Love, Hate Will Get You Every Time.

So this is it...my first blog. And to be honest, I can't think of any other way to begin this experience, than sharing my major "aha" moment that God provided me this week. It was absolutely much needed.

As a Christ-follower, I struggle with the same things that most people at my age do. Being 22 and being Christian makes NO exception to the struggles, temptations, pressures that this world provides me with. One of the major struggles I had as a child that I usually do not face these days, involves hatred. I've made the attempts to never say "hate" in any circumstance. You may be thinking "Jamie, just because you don't say it does not mean you do not feel it."....Well, actually, after not thinking about the word, and by God's helping hand, I verrryyy rarely feel any form of hatred....

Until recently. There was just a place in my heart that was vulnerable, and was being attacked. Without going into specifics, I had slowly formed hatred for someone whom I have not even met. I convinced myself that God would understand why I was angry towards this person in this particular situation, and I made up every excuse in the book to stop forming negative thoughts about this person. It got to the point where, I felt God give me peace about the situation...including peace about being angry with the person. What I thought was God's peace, was not God's peace at all...it was my poor excuse to just swim in this bitterness.

But that's not me. That bitterness is not what God had intended to consume my being. At all.
I began to pray about the whole situation, and then just stopped thinking about it, as a whole. It was working for me. Really. But that does not mean I did not "hate" this person any less.

Moving on....

Driving to work today, my iTouch was on shuffle for the songs I had purchased. And "Always Love", a song by Nada Surf (an Indie band) but re-done by a Christian band called Addison Road, began playing. I immediately hit "next" on my iTouch, because I had honestly heard that song WAY too many times. I was just over it. But I felt God stir in my heart to really listen to that song again. I was hesitant because I've honestly heard it so many times.

Now before we go on, let me state, I do have a tattoo on the top of my back of the lyrics to this song. I got it in college, when I thought the song was awesome, before I was 100% dedicated to God. The song is not secular, but later on, when I began opening my heart to God again, I found a verse that would match perfectly to it. The tattoo says "Stay True. Always Love. Hate Will Get You Every Time"...and the verse that backs the song lyrics up is 1 Corinthians 16:14 "Let all that you do be done in love."...

Okay, now we're back. The song begins playing, and the lyrics are not really catching my attention until the chorus begins playing....

Always love. Hate will get you every time.
Always love. Don't wait til the finish line.
Always love. Hate will get you every time.
Always love....even when you want to fight it.

Wow. I listened to that and thought...hmm...the ultimate Author of true love is offering me a sense of peace and advice. To always love, no matter what. He introduced love to the world, and what would I be doing if I did not share it to everyone. In my heart I felt God saying...

"Jamie, this person needs your love. And by love, I mean not just showing it..but sincerely feeling it."

Whooooaaa there God...you're kinda asking a lot. I always felt that my spiritual gifts were love and encouragement. And loving people has come easy for me, because I have a passion for others. But, this person? Are you sure God?!

"Jamie, this person needs your love...and by love, I mean show her My love through you."

Alright, it's starting to make sense now. Then I just started laughing, honestly, in my car alone.
I immediately felt gratification & love overwhelm me. I was called into this world to show love to everyone, and feel the truth behind it. What an "aha" moment.

Thank you God, for sincerely reminding me of this. And seeking His guidance to help me through this journey.


-Jamie.