Is it just me?

Recently, I've been told that I am such a weird/different woman because I don't
sit back and plan out my future in the light of my children, my husband, my wedding,
marriage, my engagement ring, who will be in my wedding, how I want to design my house, the trips I want to take for my honeymoon, etc.

Excuse me for being a bit different, but when God has set things up for me, then I will follow those and then plan accordingly.

No, I'm not saying if you do plan things out that I think it's stupid. It's cute. Yes.
Until I'm drowning in Your love tonight
I'm only drowning in Your love

But... there's more to life than setting up your heart for possibly letdowns.
God won't let me down. That's the one thing I am 100% positive about in my life.
The other things that may happen, like my marriage to my future husband, is questionable because
it's not in my hands.

Just had to vent a bit.
But, ultimately, I'd like to say that I'm not "different" in a bad way. In fact, I take pride in my differences.

1 Corinthians 2:9

However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"

"Search My Heart & Soul"

The title of my blog is "Search My Heart & Soul" & ultimately, I want God to truly know me. Inside & out. Yes, I know He already does, but I want to show Him, too.

Where is my heart & soul these days?
To be honest, I'm not one to post anything full of complaints or negativity.
But my heart is in a major funk this past month.
No, it hasn't consumed my entire being, but it's near to it.

I've realized where my heart is lately,
and it's in a state of constant change.
I can't even begin to explain how that feels
but it's not a good or bad feeling. It's just....there.

I still enjoy the same things, like worship, sports, watching sports, having girls nights.
But, my heart is only 3/4 in it these days. Is this funk normal?

Many things have been unsettled on my heart this past month
but it's nothing to sincerely worry about. So why do I still let
them consume my heart? Get. Out.

I know the Lord loves me and is proud of me,
but sometimes I don't feel like I'm doing well enough.
I was reminded, though, today, by a friend, that I don't need to earn God's love.
I've heard that millions of times, and I believe it, but I needed that reminder.
I.DONT.NEED.TO.EARN.GOD'S. Love.

Point blank.
Dear heart, get out of this funk so I can get back to the busy-ness of my life.

I Adore You

Mercy falls from Your heart down on me
Glory streams from Your face so lovely
A million words could not describe
How marvelous Your perfect light

I adore You
I will sing it with all my heart
I adore You
I love everything You are
That my heart, beats to the rhythm of Your heart
That my eyes focus on Your beautiful eyes
A million tongues could not express
How beautiful Your holiness

My life is yours and will be forever
My love is yours

-Phil Wickham; "I Adore You"

My future husband better be prepared...

My future husband better be prepared when he meets me.
He's going to have to handle my spontaneous ideas, my intense silliness,
my obnoxious laughter at times, & my affection.

Brace yourself, because I'm a handful. :)




-J.King

You know what....

I'm content. With everything. Truly.

I've discovered....

Recently, I've discovered...

-that I'm a dreamer. Big Time.
-that I'd rather be optimistic about things, rather than let the negative pull me down.
-that I really do hate coleslaw more and more as I'm growing older hahaha.
-that the friends I have in my life are here by my side until the end.
-that I'm an adult & I make my own decisions, big or small, and it's a little crazy to think about.
-that I'm right where I need to be & it took me the past year to figure this out.
-that no person can determine my happiness, only I can.
-that I can instantly become friends with people and have all the respect in the world for them..
-that Mentors are great role models, but I can't put them as "perfect people". We're all human.
-that taking time off is not always an option, but taking five minutes a day to just breathe & get myself together really helps.
-that I use post-its and "to do" lists often.
-that I own three different planners. hahaha Ridiculous.
-that I can be serious when I need to be, but I'd rather not be.
-that my laughter changes weekly, and it can get obnoxious. I laugh at everything.
-that my parents, both of them, are so in love, so supportive of everything I choose to do that will benefit me, and pushes me to accomplish my dreams.
-that I want my marriage to be like my parents.
-that school is a huge privilege, not just something I have to do.
-that I need to make more time, which I "think" I don't have, to really hang out with the people I love.
-that I desire to run, workout, and every morning I plan to, & I never make time too.
-that I want to start budgeting my money.
-that whatever my Mom does to respond to something, I do the same.
-that I'm super protective and almost too aggressive about standing up for my parents.
-that my parents are the only ones in my entire family that I enjoy being around, and I'm okay with that.
-that God is bigger.
-that I can do anything I desire if I keep pushing through.
-that my "Bucket List" isn't shrinking, and it needs to asap.
-that I'm legit proud of myself for being 22 and doing the things that average 22 year olds don't do.
-that I was designed to dream, designed to worship, and designed to love. & I'll continue doing all three.
-that I get so hyped about encouraging people....
-that I am loved. Still. More & more.
-that I desire to blog more.


Hmm, just rambling, but that's enough for now.
Enjoy your day, and dream on (cheesy, but I mean it.)

Until next time,
J.King