This will very much be my most vulnerable post ever.
I'm confused. I'm feeling a bit of emptiness for the first time in a very long time.
I'm a brave, strong person. I am.
But this situation, I have no control over.
I dont know what to do. How to react. How to even pray about it.
Sounds crazy, but I feel empty and for the first time, useless.
I want to wipe the situation she may face, out of her life.
I'm human. I'm thinking of what may happen if this comes out to be what "they" think.
I'm feeling a sense of death and loss in my heart already. What is wrong with me?
I'm hypocritical. Here I am, telling everyone, "God's got you. He's got me."....& I'm sitting
here just full of sadness, questioning everything.
I'm praying.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
It's beautiful out....
& I survived the hurricane.
However, there are 9+ fatalities from it. Including two children.
Very heartbreaking, but we have been blessed through all of this.
Thanks for all the prayers guys.
J. King
However, there are 9+ fatalities from it. Including two children.
Very heartbreaking, but we have been blessed through all of this.
Thanks for all the prayers guys.
J. King
Friday, August 26, 2011
"Hello Hurricane"-Switchfoot
Welp, here is my pre-hurricane Irene blog.
It's filled with mixed emotions. I'm anxious, nervous, uneasy, fearful, trusting in various people & God. All the while, I am looking at the clock. Time is going by so slowly. It's the calm before the vicious storm.
Praise God it went from a Category 2 to a Category 1.
Hurricane Isabel, years ago, was a tropical storm when it hit the East Coast of Virginia. It demolished Poquoson (a city next to me, where my best friend Amanda lives) with its high rising waters, ridiculous winds, and the thunderstorms prior to it didn't assist in the trees falling. It was weeks and weeks of just devastation.
Every ounce in my heart knows that my God is way bigger than this storm & that God is love, peace, & comfort. I am constantly having to fix my mindset to remind myself that "the Creator is holding my hand during all of this" (Thanks Zack). He's got me. (Thanks Jake). & that He ultimately will lend a hand of protection.
I also know that there is a BIG difference between worrying & being well prepared.
Worrying is not believing God is able to fix what is going on (Thanks Alyssa) but being well prepared is using the common sense and brain that God so carefully created for us. My family & I are being well-prepared. Yes, we are human, and we are slightly freaked out, but there is nothing more we can do. After all, we tied everything down, stuffed the garage with everything we could, drove our cars to a non-flood zone, & prayed over everything.
Ultimately, God will get us through this. Hurricane Irene, the real question is, can you handle my God?
On another random note,
Lacey blessed me first thing this morning with an email that just was so heart-felt and honest.
A few things she said was that I remind her of a soldier, in the midst of a battle, never giving up but instead pressing on. Her words were much needed. She said I'm a brave woman of God and it's going to take one heck-of-a-man of God to handle what I have to offer. I love her. She lifted me up right when I needed it.
Friends,
I'll receive any and all prayers you will bless VA and NC with during this time of "mother nature's best".
Thank you for all your love and support, and I'll post a blog when it's all over (and our power cuts back on haha). I love you all. & don't forget to recognize your blessings.
Unless Irene swallows us.....until next time,
J. King (Psalm 91: 14 - 16)
It's filled with mixed emotions. I'm anxious, nervous, uneasy, fearful, trusting in various people & God. All the while, I am looking at the clock. Time is going by so slowly. It's the calm before the vicious storm.
Praise God it went from a Category 2 to a Category 1.
Hurricane Isabel, years ago, was a tropical storm when it hit the East Coast of Virginia. It demolished Poquoson (a city next to me, where my best friend Amanda lives) with its high rising waters, ridiculous winds, and the thunderstorms prior to it didn't assist in the trees falling. It was weeks and weeks of just devastation.
Every ounce in my heart knows that my God is way bigger than this storm & that God is love, peace, & comfort. I am constantly having to fix my mindset to remind myself that "the Creator is holding my hand during all of this" (Thanks Zack). He's got me. (Thanks Jake). & that He ultimately will lend a hand of protection.
I also know that there is a BIG difference between worrying & being well prepared.
Worrying is not believing God is able to fix what is going on (Thanks Alyssa) but being well prepared is using the common sense and brain that God so carefully created for us. My family & I are being well-prepared. Yes, we are human, and we are slightly freaked out, but there is nothing more we can do. After all, we tied everything down, stuffed the garage with everything we could, drove our cars to a non-flood zone, & prayed over everything.
Ultimately, God will get us through this. Hurricane Irene, the real question is, can you handle my God?
On another random note,
Lacey blessed me first thing this morning with an email that just was so heart-felt and honest.
A few things she said was that I remind her of a soldier, in the midst of a battle, never giving up but instead pressing on. Her words were much needed. She said I'm a brave woman of God and it's going to take one heck-of-a-man of God to handle what I have to offer. I love her. She lifted me up right when I needed it.
Friends,
I'll receive any and all prayers you will bless VA and NC with during this time of "mother nature's best".
Thank you for all your love and support, and I'll post a blog when it's all over (and our power cuts back on haha). I love you all. & don't forget to recognize your blessings.
Unless Irene swallows us.....until next time,
J. King (Psalm 91: 14 - 16)
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Yesterday....
At 1:51pm, I survived a 20 second 5.9 magnitude earthquake. Legit.
Sketch, yes, but legit.
Now this weekend,
I'll survive a Category 2 or 3 Hurricane.
Until next time (hopefully),
J.King
Sketch, yes, but legit.
Now this weekend,
I'll survive a Category 2 or 3 Hurricane.
Until next time (hopefully),
J.King
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
....to my future husband:
....to my future husband, will you play/sing this song to me & mean what the lyrics are saying? I'm afraid to share with you everything I've done in my past, so I'll need your support and this song is just perfect for it.
Sincerely,
your future wife.
Sincerely,
your future wife.
"I Want to Hold the Hand that Holds the World."
Ohio was a great trip. The Kratz wedding was beautiful & I met some incredible people. The Ohio people knew me before I even met them, which was awesome. That made my day to hear "Oh You're Jamie King?! We've heard all about you, so nice to finally meet you." I was able to reconnect with Blevins and meet his beautiful wife, meet my new "best friend" JD, see Andrew, Mary, Alyssa, Ang, etc. It was a beautiful reunion. The wedding was a blast, and I was honored to be a bridesmaid & sing for them during the reading of their vows. The reception was so fun. The dancing, music messing up, meeting of new people, and joking on everyone was just what I needed to end my trip. Thank you to all the Ohio Christian kids, you guys really made my "visit" a memorable one.
Moving on...
I've decided not to claim "stress" or the "feeling of being overwhelmed" on myself, knowing my schedule. If I claim it, then I'll allow it to happen, right?
Phew, classes are going to be intense this semester. I have 2.5 years left until I have my Master's in Elementary Education & I begin my journey to teach little ones.
Right now, I've been taking on many different projects, and I'm only 22. I'm proud of myself though.
I am rarely able to sit down and breathe, but it's the best thing. Honestly, I'm blessed to have the ability to work as much, study as much, lead worship, help with musical projects, and even start one of my own. I'm able to play flag football with some awesome people, stay deeply involved with the youth, young adults, and church in general. I am blessed to have these opportunities.
This leaves verrryyyy little room for thinking about relationships. Yep, I went there. It's a blessing and a hinderance, all in one. I know God's got me & the whole "dating" thing will be taken care of when He's ready for me to face that, so I take my schedule as a blessing. But as of right now, until I get confirmation from God that He knows I'm ready to face that next chapter in my life, I am keeping busy with a servant's heart to serve Him as much as I possibly can. Thank you Lord, for patience.
Speaking of God....
He's incredible. I say that alot, yes, but He really is.
Worship has been opening doors for me, spiritually.
& right when I feel as if something is going to hurt me, God turns it around and blesses me with an immeasurable amount of things. He's so good.
Thank you Lord, for endurance, patience, and for just loving on me always.
Until next time,
J. King
Moving on...
I've decided not to claim "stress" or the "feeling of being overwhelmed" on myself, knowing my schedule. If I claim it, then I'll allow it to happen, right?
Phew, classes are going to be intense this semester. I have 2.5 years left until I have my Master's in Elementary Education & I begin my journey to teach little ones.
Right now, I've been taking on many different projects, and I'm only 22. I'm proud of myself though.
I am rarely able to sit down and breathe, but it's the best thing. Honestly, I'm blessed to have the ability to work as much, study as much, lead worship, help with musical projects, and even start one of my own. I'm able to play flag football with some awesome people, stay deeply involved with the youth, young adults, and church in general. I am blessed to have these opportunities.
This leaves verrryyyy little room for thinking about relationships. Yep, I went there. It's a blessing and a hinderance, all in one. I know God's got me & the whole "dating" thing will be taken care of when He's ready for me to face that, so I take my schedule as a blessing. But as of right now, until I get confirmation from God that He knows I'm ready to face that next chapter in my life, I am keeping busy with a servant's heart to serve Him as much as I possibly can. Thank you Lord, for patience.
Speaking of God....
He's incredible. I say that alot, yes, but He really is.
Worship has been opening doors for me, spiritually.
& right when I feel as if something is going to hurt me, God turns it around and blesses me with an immeasurable amount of things. He's so good.
Thank you Lord, for endurance, patience, and for just loving on me always.
Until next time,
J. King
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Braids, Broken hearts, and Beauty; You-Taw [Utah]
An excerpt from my personal journal about my Mission's trip to Utah, or You-Taw, as I'm told that is how I pronounce it with my new country accent. Warning: this is a long post, but well worth the read. I couldn't begin to write down ALL the things I experienced there, or else my hand would've fallen off. So here we go:
"Woke up in Utah this morning & literally felt the most refreshed ever. I woke up with a feeling that God has some significant plans for me (& the team) today and He definitely followed through. After two flights, a 4 hour drive, and much needed sleep in the cabin, we drove to the tent where the reservation and church is on Wednesday morning. The moment we got to the tent, we met the Georgia "Miller" family that's in charge of VBS & the most memorable thing about that family is their southern accent--talk about country! I immediately connected with a couple of them because of their outgoing spirits.
The kids would be dropped off over a coarse of an hour, so Paula, Issy, & I would teach them some dance moves to "Lord You Are Good" (Israel Houghton style baby!). Oh where to begin with Ms. Paula. She has spunk for an older woman & she can get down with the get-down. So all the kids arrived, we divided them into two groups, by age. Immediately, two girls, Alisia and Katelynn attached to me and more kids did as the day went on. We went into our Bible study and the kids surprised me. I was previously warned that these kids would be reserved and closed off but these kids immediately remembered my name and loved on me while allowing me to love on them. What a warm feeling that was.
There were kids all ages there so we divided them into groups. One group would be in the Bible study while the other is doing crafts. Lunch time was an experience too. Each child was given two sandwiches, chips, fruit snacks, and a drink. I quickly observed that the majority of the kids would eat one sandwich and a few of the chips, then fold up the bag to take the other sandwich and food home. I, later, found out that these kids have nothing, barely any food. This very well may be the only meal that they eat.
So we get to say our goodbyes and I was asked to drive some kids home. Imagine me, in a mini van. Talk about future soccer mom! Anyways, seeing these "homes" just completely blew my mind. Of course, it was about a 30 minute drive down a dirt road full of bumps but all around us was sand, rocks, stray dogs, prairie dogs, cows, and beautiful wild horses. I heard one kid mumble, "I don't want to go home." I later found out he lives with a stepfather indulging in incest with the family. Broke my heart.
The next few days of VBS were good. Our teams clicked well together. More kids came (a total of 55 by Friday, I believe) and they grew to be more & more open to me as well as open to learning about God. One boy, named Delaney, had been picked on by the other boys which immediately turned his behavior from controllable to aggressive with the other kids. Well, Friday, the last day of Bible study at VBS, Delaney sat next to me, did the motions to the songs (sitting down) & answered (mumbled) the questions correctly. I was astonished, to be honest. I asked him how he knew about these stories about Jesus and he said "My grandpa reads the Holy Bible to us and tells us stories about the cross. We have a Jesus movie too." WOW. Thank you God for helping me realize that investing our time in these kids is worth it, because even when they seem to not be listening, they are.
Something else I realized quickly is that the Navajos are a giving group of people. I can't begin to list the amount of bracelets, pictures, keychains, and necklaces I brought home. These people, who met me once or twice, put their time, money, and effort into something so precious just for me. God is good.
Friday morning, before we took the kids home, we offered them the gift of salvation. An awesome praise report for me would be at least one kid opening his/her heart to God and ask Him into his//her heart. but no, twelve kids gave their hearts to the "Almighty God"! And a teenager that next night. What a humbling experience to be a part of that process, in someway.
God loves me just like He loves little Delaney, Codi, Sandralyn, Savannah (a little miracle born from alcoholic parents), Cobe, Kayla, Katelynn/Alisia, major disciples of the world, and everyone else in the world. We are all heirs of His kingdom.
I got the chance to really bond with Katelynn and Alisia, granddaughters of Lilly Maryboy. Lilly blessed me too, by braiding my hair one night and I felt God lay on my heart to bless her with my favorite turquoise cross bracelet made my someone in my church. The entire week I selflessly gave away all of my bracelets and jewelry to the kids, but avoided giving this away, and now I knew why. So I gave it to her, and saw her face light up with joy. Katelynn & Alisia had a lot of fun with Brooke & I. All week, we would color, draw, listen to music together, be goofy, take pictures and videos, etc. They were a handful at first, but once we gained each other's respect, they were so loving towards me. They want me to send them a necklace with Jesus on it. I can't wait to receive a letter from them and reply. Alisia has already called me a few times & that warms my heart.
I'm so glad I went to Utah. It impacted me way more than I expected, that's for sure. It was an emotional journey for me and it humbled & broke my heart all at once. It made me appreciate all the things I take for granted that I'm truly blessed with. I will no longer let the small inconveniences hurt me anymore or even slightly affect me. I will forever hold the people in Utah in my heart forever.
Random things God laid on my heart:
*God sees every person, event, thing significant in His eyes, even if we don't.
*God's broken my heart with this trip but all I felt Him lay on my heart was to love on those who cross my path.
*God gives each of us gifts and I immediately saw mine with the kids and loving on them.
Memorable moments:
*Brooke and I were driving to pick up the kids on the "long road" which is 20 minutes long, and we got stuck in a huge pile of sand. hahaha, we had to get her dad to get it out. Hilarious.
*The outhouse? Failure.
*Loved roadtripping with my new second family, the Waldroups.
"Woke up in Utah this morning & literally felt the most refreshed ever. I woke up with a feeling that God has some significant plans for me (& the team) today and He definitely followed through. After two flights, a 4 hour drive, and much needed sleep in the cabin, we drove to the tent where the reservation and church is on Wednesday morning. The moment we got to the tent, we met the Georgia "Miller" family that's in charge of VBS & the most memorable thing about that family is their southern accent--talk about country! I immediately connected with a couple of them because of their outgoing spirits.
The kids would be dropped off over a coarse of an hour, so Paula, Issy, & I would teach them some dance moves to "Lord You Are Good" (Israel Houghton style baby!). Oh where to begin with Ms. Paula. She has spunk for an older woman & she can get down with the get-down. So all the kids arrived, we divided them into two groups, by age. Immediately, two girls, Alisia and Katelynn attached to me and more kids did as the day went on. We went into our Bible study and the kids surprised me. I was previously warned that these kids would be reserved and closed off but these kids immediately remembered my name and loved on me while allowing me to love on them. What a warm feeling that was.
There were kids all ages there so we divided them into groups. One group would be in the Bible study while the other is doing crafts. Lunch time was an experience too. Each child was given two sandwiches, chips, fruit snacks, and a drink. I quickly observed that the majority of the kids would eat one sandwich and a few of the chips, then fold up the bag to take the other sandwich and food home. I, later, found out that these kids have nothing, barely any food. This very well may be the only meal that they eat.
So we get to say our goodbyes and I was asked to drive some kids home. Imagine me, in a mini van. Talk about future soccer mom! Anyways, seeing these "homes" just completely blew my mind. Of course, it was about a 30 minute drive down a dirt road full of bumps but all around us was sand, rocks, stray dogs, prairie dogs, cows, and beautiful wild horses. I heard one kid mumble, "I don't want to go home." I later found out he lives with a stepfather indulging in incest with the family. Broke my heart.
The next few days of VBS were good. Our teams clicked well together. More kids came (a total of 55 by Friday, I believe) and they grew to be more & more open to me as well as open to learning about God. One boy, named Delaney, had been picked on by the other boys which immediately turned his behavior from controllable to aggressive with the other kids. Well, Friday, the last day of Bible study at VBS, Delaney sat next to me, did the motions to the songs (sitting down) & answered (mumbled) the questions correctly. I was astonished, to be honest. I asked him how he knew about these stories about Jesus and he said "My grandpa reads the Holy Bible to us and tells us stories about the cross. We have a Jesus movie too." WOW. Thank you God for helping me realize that investing our time in these kids is worth it, because even when they seem to not be listening, they are.
Something else I realized quickly is that the Navajos are a giving group of people. I can't begin to list the amount of bracelets, pictures, keychains, and necklaces I brought home. These people, who met me once or twice, put their time, money, and effort into something so precious just for me. God is good.
Friday morning, before we took the kids home, we offered them the gift of salvation. An awesome praise report for me would be at least one kid opening his/her heart to God and ask Him into his//her heart. but no, twelve kids gave their hearts to the "Almighty God"! And a teenager that next night. What a humbling experience to be a part of that process, in someway.
God loves me just like He loves little Delaney, Codi, Sandralyn, Savannah (a little miracle born from alcoholic parents), Cobe, Kayla, Katelynn/Alisia, major disciples of the world, and everyone else in the world. We are all heirs of His kingdom.
I got the chance to really bond with Katelynn and Alisia, granddaughters of Lilly Maryboy. Lilly blessed me too, by braiding my hair one night and I felt God lay on my heart to bless her with my favorite turquoise cross bracelet made my someone in my church. The entire week I selflessly gave away all of my bracelets and jewelry to the kids, but avoided giving this away, and now I knew why. So I gave it to her, and saw her face light up with joy. Katelynn & Alisia had a lot of fun with Brooke & I. All week, we would color, draw, listen to music together, be goofy, take pictures and videos, etc. They were a handful at first, but once we gained each other's respect, they were so loving towards me. They want me to send them a necklace with Jesus on it. I can't wait to receive a letter from them and reply. Alisia has already called me a few times & that warms my heart.
I'm so glad I went to Utah. It impacted me way more than I expected, that's for sure. It was an emotional journey for me and it humbled & broke my heart all at once. It made me appreciate all the things I take for granted that I'm truly blessed with. I will no longer let the small inconveniences hurt me anymore or even slightly affect me. I will forever hold the people in Utah in my heart forever.
Random things God laid on my heart:
*God sees every person, event, thing significant in His eyes, even if we don't.
*God's broken my heart with this trip but all I felt Him lay on my heart was to love on those who cross my path.
*God gives each of us gifts and I immediately saw mine with the kids and loving on them.
Memorable moments:
*Brooke and I were driving to pick up the kids on the "long road" which is 20 minutes long, and we got stuck in a huge pile of sand. hahaha, we had to get her dad to get it out. Hilarious.
*The outhouse? Failure.
*Loved roadtripping with my new second family, the Waldroups.
Psalm 40:8 "I desire to do Your will, Oh My God, Your law is within my heart."
Until next time,
J.King
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