....here comes the bride?

It's true. And even before I type this two word sentence, I must admit that I am still in shock.
"I'm engaged!". 
Phew, I feel relieved, excited, overwhelmed, blessed, loved, stressed, etc. when I realize that I am engaged to my best friend, Stephen Graham.


So, here we go. Diving into probably the sappiest blog you'll see on my page.

August 12, 2012: Freedom Life Church; after 11:15 service

I was on the worship team for the weekend's services.

Usually at the end of a message, we do a closing song

and then a "celebration" song as people are leaving.

Well this time, after our closer song, everyone that was singing with me

left the stage. I was initially a little peeved

that all the singers left all the microphones all

jacked up and all over the stage, because I knew

that I would clean it up (which is funny to me now haha).

Then I feel a tug at my arm: Stephen.

I'm trying to wrap up the microphones and he's trying to have

conversations with me. I thought he was going to tell me

that he was getting the kids from the children's ministry.

But instead, he said something along these lines:

(I can't remember details: it's all a blur obviously haha)

(Imagine "Jesus at the Center of it All" being played in the background. This has HUGE significance in our walk with God & our stance

in our relationship....)

You know, we've talked about running the race

towards God together. Pastor Freddy talked about that today.

How would you like to run that race with me?
I want to be with you forever.

And I have something for you.

(I said: Oh my gosh!)

He is about to get down on one knee when 

I hear some people say "TURN AROUND!"

Sidenote: Stephen is 6'8. So he was standing in front

of me the entire time, therefore I couldn't see the 

50 friends/family sitting there watching and crying!

I turn around, say "AH! Oh my gosh!" & immediately realize

that is really happening.

He gets on his knee and says 

Will you marry me?

and of course I'm balling like a baby

and I showed how much of a true schoolgirl I am

by fanning my face and crying with excitement.

I said YES! of course

and we hugged. I couldn't stop crying.

Okay so, I'm engaged.

This means....I'm planning a wedding....a wedding?
Here's the thing. Typical girls have planned weddings, in all aspects,

since they could understand who "Prince Charming" was.

From the colors of the wedding, place, time of day, flowers, foods, gowns, etc.

....I haven't. 

This freaks me out BUT indeed makes me excited. Everything about my wedding with Stephen will be planned with Stephen and with significance rather than tradition. We have already decided to do away with some traditional things just to have room for some symbolic things that represent our relationship and our ties with God & all His blessings.

This wedding planning journey will be an exciting one, but also a challenge.

I'm the type of girl who hates when people try and pay for dinner. Try to imagine having my parents work hard to pay for an entire wedding. I'm struggling with the thought of an entire ceremony with such CRAZY expenses being for Stephen & I. In fact, I even thought of doing a courthouse ordeal and saving us all time, money, etc. but quickly threw that thought out of the window. I mean, who wouldn't want to have an entire night with friends, family, etc. and dancing?! :)

My favorite part of this entire process with Stephen? Keeping Jesus at the center of it all....including wedding planning. He brought us together & designed our relationship, so why shouldn't I let Him design this wedding and bring us together in such a beautiful union...marriage?

Okay, enough sap....well maybe a tiny bit more:

To Stephen:

Remember those "To My Future Husband" posts you used to read before we started dating? Well, re-read those....they're all for you.

So blessed to have you as my best friend  & fiance.

Until next time,

J. King.....future J. Graham

My Philosophy on Worship.

I was thinking about my philosophy of worship during camp.
There were quite a few things that made me think about this.
But this is my philosophy of worship, not just at camp, but everywhere.
So here we go:

During camp, I tried my very best not to let any of the campers on stage during the worship, to serve on the team, for multiple reasons.
1. Serving on the worship team is a ministry. And it takes concentration. Sometimes this concentration blocks your worship. Trust me...I know all about it. This may impact your worship time and may create frustrations, rather than relaxation during worship.
2. If you are on stage, you may be missing a total God moment that you experience with your friends and family off stage.
3. Worship is definitely a privilege. If I can lead worship, just by myself, and the campers are experiencing that worship moment, then I have done what God desires of me to do, but if I'm desperately in need of "other band members" then who am I putting my trust in concerning worship...if that makes sense. I believe if you have one person, with or without an instrument, with the gift of worship, you don't even need a band. Just you, God, and worship.

Okay, moving on....
My philosophy on repeating songs. I was asked by my Dad during Camp Wakefield why I didn't try out some new slow songs instead of doing the same three or four slow songs each night, different order, based on what God pushed me to do. Well, the answer is simple:
-If we repeat things in our heads, like "I will have a good day today", then guess what? Your heart follows that and you end up having a good day. Same goes with worship. If we repeat the lyrics of worship songs in our heads, and with our mouths, our hearts will soon follow.
-I've noticed since camp that the repeated songs that we have used are now facebook status' and I've gotten text messages asking about the songs we've done. If I can introduce songs and repeat them, and people enjoy worshiping to them, then my job as a worship leader is progressing. "More I Seek You" & "You Are For Me" are the ones we definitely repeated a lot, as well as "Jesus at the Center of It All".
-The more songs we repeat, the more these kids can enjoy worship, instead of having to look at a screen for words. If the lyrics of a worship song are simple, the better and more profound the worship is, in my opinion. If a song is too wordy, it becomes a distraction.

Next philosophy:
Worshiping before hand as an individual and as a band.
This does not mean practice. This means worship.
Yes, you can worship during practice....but something I believe in is fasting, praying, etc. before I lead worship. This means taking the ten minutes or so before you lead worship to put worship music on that touches your core piece, praying over pews, alters, musical instruments, sound equipment, etc. and enjoying your own God time before enjoying everyone's God time together. I'm a FIRM believer in praying with your band over the people's hearts, your hearts, music stuff, etc. beforehand. This is the best way to start your service as a worship team.

Worship is anywhere: I think praying is a form of worship. Writing. Drawing. Painting. Taking photographs. It can be anywhere: your car, your room, a restaurant, church (obviously haha), bathroom, in the shower, etc. Practice worship any and everywhere. It pleases God and enhances your relationship/intimacy with Him.

This one is going to offend:
If you're heart is on stage to sing or play an instrument because you're good at it, don't be on the worship team.
If you're heart is not into that worship that day, don't fake it. Don't be on the worship team.
If you are burnt out but are being asked to serve, be honest. Don't be on the worship team.
Being on the worship team, or leading worship, is a true privilege, but don't make it a chore. Allow God to sing/play through you and use that time to worship God....not the leaders of your church, your church members, or pastors. Worship is about you and God.
If you are exhausted and don't feel Spiritually prepared, don't lead worship.

I know this all sounds harsh, but worship is not about performing at all. In fact my favorite quote is:
"The best worship leader is forgotten by the end of the set." ....that's my goal. To step out of the way, and allow God to shine through worship. To set up an incredible "God-moment-filled" worship for people. But if my heart is not into it, it will show.



I thought about all this stuff last night, but had to share it.
Worship is a privilege and it's amazing.
So let's worship today, like no other. God is good. (:

An Update, on life, love, and laughter.

WOW.
It's been since February that I've blogged.
I saw a friend of mine starting a blog, and came back to mine....read through a few posts
and legit started crying. I've been so blessed and even MORE blessed since February.
So, I'm going to try and update as much as possible without this being a million words...


Camp Wakefield: Started and ended just as quick. BUT, it was a transforming week for the teens and for us counselors. I led worship there and ended up doing 2 hours of worship every night for 7 days. Needless to say, my fingers blistered/calloused, my voice went away, and I'm exhausted beyond words, but it was worth it. To close my eyes for two seconds while singing "More I Seek You" and "You Are For Me" and then opening them to see EVERY single camper up front, standing or praying at the alter, with raised hands...yeah....that's a successful God-week. I made new friends, made current friendships stronger, stomped on the devil and his schemes, and on top of that, I was able to strengthen my relationship with God while strengthening my relationship with Stephen. A week before camp, God laid it on Stephen's heart to be a counselor at camp. I stepped out of the way for that one, knowing he was being selfless about it, instead of just wanting to be with me that week. God was right. Stephen followed what God desired of him and that week changed him, those kids who hung out with, and us. God is good. So good. The following verse is now our (Stephen & I) life verse as a couple, individuals, etc.

"Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand. Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven." - Matthew 5:14-16 (Message)

Family: Family is good. My relationship with my family, parents and brother/sis in law, has been great. We all hang out more than we used to and I enjoy knowing that I have their support.

Friends: I've really struggled with this one. I've noticed that I'll randomly get text messages from friends saying they miss me, etc. And I think it's sweet, but I'm a guilt-ridden person. I've really been focusing on my relationship and all of my other friendships that coincide with church that I barely have time for any other friends. I know, I'm awful for that, but I'm still content with who is in my life, whether or not I see them daily or monthly. The most encouraging friends that I can honestly say have lifted me up recently include Sarah, Stephen, and Wendy. They've been SO encouraging always and I love them to death. God's blessed me with people who lift me up constantly. :)

Church: My goodness. I love my church. The pastors, messages, people, etc. It's been SO fulfilling to be a congregation member at times and yet still serve on the worship team, rather than on the worship team every single service. I've battled that for a while too, and still do, but I know what's best for me spiritually, and that is to receive and then serve. I know quite a few people who already support me with this, and some that do not. However, I serve God, not people....and I know what His desires are for me. My church has blessed me, that's for sure. I love everything about it. The most recent message I heard was about "God's calling" and phhhewwww it reached out to me hardcore. Thanks for being obedient, pastors, and preaching a message directly to me.

Relationship: Words couldn't even begin to explain how blessed I am with Stephen and how God fulfilled His promises through this man. Running towards God is one awesome privilege....but running towards God with Stephen by my side is the most abso-freaking-lutely amazing thing ever. He's blessed me more than he knows and He's challenged me to become closer to God, which is exactly what I need. I'm so excited to spend my life with him and glorify God through it all. "City on a Hill" as one.... I just love that thought of being two strong Christ-followers shining God's love to any and every one who comes our way.

School: Don't get me started here. I"m a bit worried about this. I'm supposed to "walk" the stage in the Spring but couldn't afford my three summer classes so this may put me behind. But I'm just SO ready to be done. Praying for this aspect of my life.




Everything else: I'm loved by the King. He's amazing and legit never lets me down.....Blessed. SO blessed.



Until next time,
J. King

First Day of February Feels Like Spring...

& I am 100% okay with this weather. Seriously.
This is why I love the "Spring" semester.
It starts off depressing, in a sense, with the cold, possibility of snow, winds, sicknesses,
holidays, etc. And then, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Right when the semester
is almost over, the leaves change colors, and the weather is nice enough
to drive fast to school with the windows down and music blaring.
Oh man, only 85 more days until Finals, too? Come on, let's get this over with.
I'm ready for summer.

On a real positive note,
the church-wide fast was successful and
a true blessing to do it with friends, love, and family.
I've had my down moments through it with a few curveballs,
but ultimately I was blessed by it. I've realized that I don't need
Facebook or Twitter. It's just an "add-on" to my busy life.
AND it distracts me from school work, and my relationship.
Who would've thought that one could live without it? But yes,
I am back on facebook, just cut back on it.

Same with fast food. I don't really need it, but I used fast food
as an excuse and as a convenience since I'm constantly on the run.
However, it's very unhealthy and I'm wasting money on something
I can take 10 minutes out of my day and fix a sandwich.

Where to start with my walk with God? It's been a rollercoaster.
Things have been great, however, school is in full effect
and I've been putting off my time with Him and doing other
things I'd rather be doing during my "time away from responsibilities".
I know, I know, that makes me sound like a horrible Christ-follower. But
I'm human. and He still loves me. I will grow closer to Him when my heart
catches up with my busy schedule.

I was completely blessed during my fast to see my wonderful
man make a public declaration of His faith with being baptized.
It was such a beautiful moment to watch him share his entire testimony
and hear 75% of the church crying because of his story.
I just love that man.

God's really showing His promises in our relationship, too.
I'm seeing transformations happen each day. & I'm leaning on Him
always to keep Stephen & I connected.

Mkay, enough sappiness. God is good, like always.
Love, friendships, and family are good too.

It Starts With Love.

I've been given a heart to encourage and love (most of the time....I mean, I AM human you know haha)
and over the past year or so, I've realized how large my desire to reach out to certain people is.
My trip to Utah really opened my heart the most. It's like a 3rd world country there. Yes, INSIDE of the United States. Sickening, right? & now I'm reading a book my best friend recommended. It's called "Kisses from Katie" by Katie Davis.

Katie is a young adult, my age, who took this tiny desire that God laid on her heart to reach out in missions work in Uganda for 3 weeks...turned that into one year.....and now she lives in Uganda and is a mother to 14+ Ugandan children. Unbelievable. This 22 year old, who started off at age 17, desired to show God's love somehow & in any way possible. To most, this means reacting a nicer way to certain situations, "showing" love to people by giving a few dollars to help the homeless (which is still great!), etc. But she took this small desire & trusted that God would provide & unfold His plans for her life. She quit her life to receive God's life for her. I'm inspired by this. SO inspired.

God doesn't call all of us to go to Uganda, but He does call us to love. We don't have to go to a foreign country to love people, unless God's calling you there (which is great too.) Love. That's where it all starts. The more we love on people, in our neighborhood, our own families, work, church, the more God is shown through us. It starts there. Let God work out the rest.

I'm praying faithfully about my desire to do more mission's work, especially with my hectic schedule & lifestyle. However, I'm not in charge with my life...He is. I love that God has laid this desire to be patient and loving, as well as encouraging, to children. I'm so excited for what He has in store.



Be encouraged, friends. God's love is way bigger than we know.
This love is free. Well, He paid for the debt to give us this love, but we can freely give it.
So, why wait? Give His love away to everyone you encounter somehow.

A New Morning...

I woke up before my alarm went off this morning....this never happens. It's usually the opposite actually. I hit snooze like 3 times before I finally decide to jump in the shower...but today was different.

I woke up, feeling peaceful. Feeling optimistic about my future.
Jumped in the shower, got a beautiful text from a friend Sarah that encouraged me first thing.
Then another text from someone very important in my life. Short, sweet, but a reminder of how blessed I am.
Then another text from Wendy (came later, but this has been a day of encouraging reminders for me.)
Anyways, after getting dressed, my iTouch was on shuffle and it played "You Are For Me" by Kari Jobe.
This song has huge significance in my life recently. I've sung it a handful of times at church
& the lyrics hit so close to home. Here are the lyrics:

"So faithful. So constant. So loving & so true. So powerful in all you do.
You fill me.You see me. You know my every move. You love for me to sing to You.
I know that You are for me. I know that You are for me.
I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness.
I know that You have come now even to write upon my heart, to remind me of who You are.
So patient. So gracious. So merciful & true. So wonderful in all You do."

Okay, so this song just reminded me that God has some incredible things in store for me.
And these things are flowing out so rapidly and in my face, but my life has been so
busy, on-the-go, hectic, out of whack that I have been missing it.
Don't get me wrong, I know I am highly favored and so blessed with the things I have
but have I actually taken the time to thank God for all of it?! Honestly....not at all. No.

I'll admit, after that hit me across the face, I started crying this morning. Listening to this song
helped me realize that I haven't truly thanked God for all the things that have occurred in my heart
now and in my past. I laid back on my bed, crying and just praying. Singing. Worshiping in my room.
Who would've thought that you could worship while laying on your bed, in your room, and not in a church or your car? It was some incredible worship time.

The last song that came on before I went to work was yet another Kari Jobe song called "My Beloved".
This confirmed that God was in control of my morning, of my day, of my life.
Here are the words to it:

"You're my beloved, You're my bride. To sing over you is my delight. Come away with Me, My love.
Under my mercy, come & wait 'til we are standing face to face. I see no stain on you, My child.
You're beautiful to Me. So beautiful to Me.
I sing over you, My song of peace. Cast all your cares at My feet.
Come & find your rest in Me.
I'll breathe My life inside of you. I'll bear you up on eagle's wings.
& hide you in the shadow of My strength.
I'll take you to My quiet waters. I'll restore your soul.
Come rest in Me and be made whole.
You're my beloved, my bride. To sing over you is My delight. Come away with Me, My love."

God sees me as beautiful. & significant.
And every step I'm provided is significant.
Every person in my life is significant.
Every decision I face is significant.
Every breath I breathe is significant.
My weaknesses are significant.
My strengths and high points are significant.
My relationship with friends...family....are significant.
My relationship with Him is significant.
The moments I feel alone are significant to Him.
The moments I feel completely out of it and off track are significant to Him.
"You see me, You know my every move. You love for me to sing to You."
The times I am singing quietly to myself in the car, worshipful words, are significant to Him.
My weak moments where I struggle with what I want, and not what He wants, are significant.
"I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness."
The mornings I wake up so completely wrapped up in what I have to do that day are significant.
Days I feel as if I'm so emotional, good and bad, because of my blessings are significant to Him.
"I know that You are for me."
He is for me. I'm his beloved. I am highly favored.  & I am blessed beyond measure.
Thank you God.

What's On My Mind?

SO much.
So much has happened in the past couple of months, it's unbelievable.
God is good & so faithful.
He told me to wait and to be patient, to keep my servant's heart humble, and to renew my mind daily.
To never give up hope in Him and what He will offer.
He promised to fulfill ALL the things that are the desires on my heart.
Let me tell you something, He did that PLUS some.

Thank you Lord for providing Your best. It's better than I ever imagined.


School, bleh. Almost over thankfully. Next semester is going to be rough.
Work is going well. Ridiculously busy, but it's winter time. I knew it was coming.
Family is getting better. Thanksgiving with everyone really provided a sense of hope
for my family and I.
Friends: Phew, amazing. I love my friends. They're the greatest (no really, they are.)
Worship: I need to work on this aspect in my life. My voice has been gone/I've been sick/I've been too busy. And I freakin miss the crap out of worship. I still worship in my car and with my guitar, in my room, at work. But, I miss being able to worship at church. I've been so busy. I'm definitely ready for this "Christmas break" to turn into a total God & Jamie time. SO ready for it.
Relationship: Please see above rant about God's best. It's been wonderful.

Thank You, Lord, for being my Master & Supporter. You're truly awesome.


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